Elyssa Hope

Elyssa Hope - a founding member of Freedom Church, Bude

Elyssa Copp was a founding member of Freedom Church, but never got to attend our first real meeting. She lost her life to mental illness aged only 19. Here is her story, and also some of mind entwined. A story with tragedy but full of God’s blessings and a legacy that lives on and shines brightly. A legacy of HOPE.

Every baby is a blessing but Elyssa truly was a medical miracle, after the top fertility clinic in the UK, proved that she couldn’t exist. Four years and several rounds of ICSI treatment later Elyssa Hope Lydia was born on 28th August 2004 weighing 6lb 13. She became the eldest of 8 siblings.

Elyssa’s name was carefully chosen. The name Hope in reference to the Hope held before she was born, Lydia after her aunt who is also in heaven and Elyssa means “consecrated to God, set apart for something special” words that even now we hold onto. Elyssa grew into a bright and beautiful girl. Blue eyes and beautiful blonde curls.

She loved dolls and the love of babies is something that was engrained into her heart. Elyssa was always a motherly, caring girl who wanted to be a midwife or teacher one day. She was bright, capable and really hard-working. Elyssa was so easy to home educate because she applied herself and just got on. She was happy to be wherever Mum was and was my shadow until the end. I will be forever grateful for the calling to home educate her and her siblings and for the hours it gave me with her in her short life.

Elyssa was helpful at home, she cooked, she baked, changed nappies and fed babies. She was just a natural nurturer. She loved animals and chose to be vegetarian some years ago. She kept rats, mice, a rabbit, a cat and her beloved Annie dog. They were the most spoilt pets on the planet. She really did love them. She also loved her baby twin sisters and helped me to cope through those long days with them both. She loved her Godson Theo as her own. Elyssa chose who she loved and she loved them fiercely. She put her siblings first and spent her last years fighting to protect them from the harm she herself had suffered as a child. She always put the care of those more vulnerable ahead of her own.

Elyssa was there from the start of “The Freedom Lounge”, now “Freedom Church”. She adored Steve and Tash and their family. She was forever grateful for how they loved us when we needed it and held us as we walked through hard times. Throughout her short life she always chose to spend birthdays or special times with her church family. Steve, Tash, Amanda, Gary, Clare, Les, Beth and Jordan…... she never got to attend our first “real” meeting, but she was there from day one of the gatherings, the discussions, the healing, the praying and the dreaming. She would be so proud of this group.

Elyssa had a strong faith. At the age of 10, I sat with her and prayed. She gave her heart to Jesus and never looked back. She faithfully read her bible every day and wrote prayer journals, she listened only to United Christian Broadcasters radio and her prize possession was a pair of sunglasses they sent her. She played it in the day but always throughout the entire night. Filling her room with worship whilst she slept. In 2016 she was baptised in the sea pool.

In all her darkness and struggles she never stopped believing and praying. Elyssa struggled hugely with depression and PTSD. She had some terrible childhood traumas and flashbacks and over the last 5 years of her life, battled everyday to get up, get an education, get hope for the future and just live. The darkness she faced each day was documented in a book of poems and notes about how she saw life. These were so insightful. Her pain was unimaginable, her illness was all-consuming. Getting out of bed in the morning a challenge. She became unable to go to college and as time went on everything became too hard. She suffered chronic pain, tummy damage from medications, side effects of self harm and an eating disorder, but in all of her struggles she fought. Every day.

She tried every craft, every pet, every therapy, every mindful activity, prayer, counselling, family activities, distraction. She fought to live and she fought to be here. She was so strong and so very unwell. She fought for her siblings and she made sure she had made them safe. She was determined. She loved her brothers and sisters so deeply. In my eyes she was a warrior.

In the end, however, she was just exhausted and desperate for relief from her pain and exhaustion. Just like a terminal physical illness she couldn’t be treated anymore. I strongly believe that Jesus came to her that day, took her hand, stood her up from the floor and led her home. She is free, she is whole, she is healed, and she has no more trauma, no more anxiety and no more scars. The only scars in heaven are on the one who holds her now (Jesus).

In her extensive documentation of her thoughts and feelings and prayers and dreams she wrote the following poem. She openly longed for heaven, longed for healing. She longed to close her eyes and wake up to a new beginning. Her poem was called “the day I wake up”

"The day I wake up life will be bright again

The day I wake up my fur babies will greet me

The day I wake up I’ll be happy again

The day I wake up my mind will finally be free

The day I wake up everybody else will only see me in their dreams

Elyssa woke up. In the arms of Jesus. Since her passing, God has truly shown me that she is healed and joyful with him in heaven. Although I wasn’t with her when she passed, he was and he never left her throughout her pain. He saved her from it that fateful day.

Elyssa had words spoken over her life that I hold onto as I start a new charity in her name. On the day of her baptism words were spoken over her life about how, because what God was going to do with her life, she was going to change people’s lives.

Her heart was pastoral, she was wise beyond her years and she was discerning. She saw into people’s hearts and that’s what I want to continue as her legacy, loving others, caring for others and feeling the things others feel. She had people praying for her and documenting those prayers and words which is incredible. It was said over her life that she would provide for other physically and spiritually, that her role would be pastoral, that she would “be the head and not the tail” and that “God may lead you to care for others less fortunate than yourself”

Her Bible verse for her baptism, was Psalm 139 13-18 “For you created my innermost being; you knit me together in my Mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my informed body ; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious are your thoughts oh God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.”

How incredible is that!? She was a miracle baby, God formed her and knew every hair on her head and every day of her life. He made her in his own image and He loved her before she was born. He knew her last day and most importantly… like she wrote in her poem, when she “woke up” he was indeed still with her and she is now with him. Looking back through the words she was given in her teenage years, shows me that even in her loss, God’s words aren’t void.

In her loss, and in the creation of her charity, he has kept those promises. Not in the way I expected at all, but he has. Last year I noted in my journal a verse that lept out at me, from my Bible. Looking back at it as I write this, shows me more of Gods faithfulness. Job 11/17 “Your life will be brighter than the Noonday. Even darkness will be brighter than morning. Having HOPE will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. You will lie down unafraid, and many will look to you for help”.

I guess looking back and then forward to where we are now, Elyssa is providing HOPE, not just for others but for her family. We are able to find light in the darkness of losing her and a purpose for her death. It is never going to be that simple for us but we can see the light and we keep our eyes focused on that as we grow her legacy. We will never stop missing Elyssa and wishing that she had been miraculously healed but we know that she is safe and well and one day we will hold her again, whole and joyful. Until that day we will remember her always.

We thank God for 19 beautiful years and for the legacy of God’s promises over her life that WILL still be fulfilled. What a faithful God we have.